Filed under: Uncategorized
Did your classes suck this semester? Did they drain your soul? Almost kill you? Then take a moment to procrastinate even more on writing final papers in order to whine and write spiteful and/or witty comments about your classes for the Q Guide. The evaluation form closes January 26th.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: calendar reform, suckyness, uc election
Dean of Harvard College Evelyn Hammonds sent out an email today regarding the calendar change for next year, which will increase the winter holiday from the current two weeks to a thirty three glorious days of wintry lethargy. Hammonds includes a list of “distinct benefits” which the new calendar will have. The list includes the “increased opportunities for”:
1) Harvard students to cross-register
2) Harvard faculty to teach across Faculty lines
3) Students to compete more effectively for summer jobs or internships
4) Students to more easily take part in study abroad programs.
Veritoast would like to point out that Hammonds forgot to include a few additional, very important benefits this new calendar will bring, which includes increased opportunities for:
5) Students to catch up on all their favorite television shows they have not been watching because Harvard’s sucky lack of cable and Harvard’s sucky workload
6) Showers with no flip flops
7) Real food
8) SLEEP
In other news, Universal Waste has been putting up fancy schmancy graphs about the UC election. The dedication is almost frightening. Confessions: Veritoast has not been following the campaign very closely. We just did our job and voted Waite-Petri. Anyway, election results are apparently coming out tonight at 10pm or something. Yawn.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Harvard’s Alaska Krazies Klub is planning to hold their “5th annual Alaska Klub Polar Bear Plunge” this Friday, 8am, at the Charles River. Below is their blurb.
“There comes a time in every Harvard student’s academic career, when they are faced with something profoundly new–an opportunity to seize life by the moose antlers and dive tackle some old paradigms.”
“Food and hot drinks provided. Prizes awarded to the most hardcore plungers. Hecklers welcome.
Primal Scream ain’t got shit on this.”
Now, I’m not sure if the Alaska Klub has heard of something called hypothermia, but it’s this thing where you get really cold and die. For those of you out there won’t don’t want to die, I suggest simply watching this strange event…especially if you’re a certified medic.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: crimson cruisin, late oops, uc election
A late roundup of Monday’s Crimson.
Op-Ed piece: UC campaigns look so clean, but talk so dirty.
UC Endorsement: Crimson picks Schwartz-Biggers. Sur-prise.
Flores-McLeod: Good ideas, poor delivery?
James-Wong: Your own personal man-servants.
Koenigs-Palmer: = McCain-Palin.
Waite-Petri: Is funny.
Apparently Quad winter formals are tonight? But if you’re not a resident of The Quad, here are some other options for the night.
Harvard-Radcliffe Chorus presents Francis Poulenc’s ‘Gloria’. 8pm, Sanders Theatre.
Arthur Miller’s ‘A View from the Bridge’. 8pm, New College Theatre.
FEAST. 8:30pm, Quincy D-Hall. Eat delicious Asian food, watch performances, eat some more.
Peaches n’ Cream. 11pm, Mather JCR. It’s a dance. It’s FREE.
Grrl Punk Party. 10pm, Adams Artspace. In which Harvard gets hipster again.
Don’t miss out on the UC Presidential Debate tonight, 7-8:30 PM, Emerson 105. This debate is serious business. I mean, the moderator is from Satire V. It doesn’t get any more serious than this.
Veritoast predicts that our favorite pick, Roger Waite ‘10, will dominate the debate. Unfortunately we will not be present to witness said domination, but hopes some of our readers will.
Send in your favorite quotes from the debate to veritoastnews@gmail.com, or just post a quick comment.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: draco dormiens nunquam titillandus, moving pictures, the uc election
This is Part 2 of our Less Than Riveting UC-Hogwarts Series (LTRUCHS). See Part 1 here.
Let the sorting continue!
HUFFLEPUFF: Flores-McLeod
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil
Hufflepuff is supposedly the “lamest House in all of Hogwarts” and is most often described as being “pussies,” “weaklings,” and “kinda rotund.” According to UrbanDictionary (the most reliable of sources for everything Harry Potter), “if you’re not brave, smart, or an asshole; you’re sorted into [Hufflepuff] by default.” But, not gonna lie. I have always been a closet Hufflepuff fan. Because Hufflepuff has maintained a pretty miserable rep, it demands some sort of pity and lovability from even Mudbloods like ourselves. Hufflepuff remains the House that is most endearing and has some admirable qualities that are often overlooked, like: loyalty, patience, compassion, arduousness, and Cedric Diggory.
If Veritoast wasn’t such a sucker for Habsburg royalty, arable land, and the 30’s (newly added to the platform!) we would probably endorse Flores-McLeod instead of Waite-Petri.
The “nice” ticket. Also: fierce.
Flore-McLeod seems like the sensible ticket for everyone to vote for. Their bright smiles and shiny teeth and twinkling eyes and bouncy curls and general joviality all seem to say: “We will take care of you, the students. Like mothers.” Also, their website is a thousand times more pleasant for the eyes than Schwartz-Biggers. Also note that Flores and McLeod may already have a notion of their Hufflepuff tendencies, as they chose the color yellow (Hufflepuff’s color) as their theme.
RAVENCLAW: Koenigs-Palmer
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind
This was a no brainer for the Veritoast Sorting Hat. With maverick charm and disarming wit, the brilliant Koenigs-Palmer ticket is in Ravenclaw. With the experience and seniority brought by Michael Koenigs ‘09 and the Alaskan charm brought by the fresh and clueless Aneliese Palmer ‘12, this ticket is playing the political game right.
Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.
