Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: crime, dementors, harvard is really hogwarts
Next up: dementors.
You know how at the end of each school year in the Harry Potter books, everything goes to shit? Either Lord Voldemort is trying to kill someone, dementors are on the loose, or Snape kills Dumbledore.
Today, Harvard is kind of like that. First there was a shooting. Now there was some sort of mugging with a knife involved on Plympton. Next, I suspect a giant fucking basilisk will be found somewhere in the bowels of Adams House, holding Domna captive or something.
Or perhaps that’s Veritoast just being really hopeful. End the year with a bang, ya’ll.
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Veritoast got a kick out of this behind-the-scenes look at “Swann’s Blood”. Check it. We like the Blood Guy.
Thanks to reader Nelson for the tip.
So you got to parade your hot naked bod last night at Primal Scream, eh? Got your pixxx taken by some creepy Asian tourist, I bet? Got to let out all your bottled up frustrations from the totally unfair budget cuts, right? (Seriously though, NO BACON AT BREAKFAST?!)
Well now it’s time to hit the books if you haven’t already and cram all you can into your brain for your final. Many breakdowns and sobfests have been witnessed in libraries across campus. It’s like an epidemic, ya’ll.
But while you’re wiping away those tears of agony in the gloomy bowels of Cabot, remember to keep things in perspective.
Yeah, kind of like that. It’s only the beginning of the end, guys.
Q: What is currently the most depressing spot on campus?
A: Lamont Fuckin’ Library.
(If you answered Currier formal, you are also correct. See: RAIN. BOAT. FAIL.)
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Things you didn’t know existed at Harvard:
- Sun
- The arts?
Thanks to some event called Arts First, these two things have been shoved in our deliriously post-class-happy faces. Harvard Yard was packed today. Apparently we have students here who are ridiculously talented or something? It’s so awesome that we got to discover this at the end of the year!
In other news: Rumor has it that Lamont has acquired a hot new security guard. Veritoast went to verify that this was the veritas. And it was. Honey, you can open my zippers and peer inside anytime.
Actually went 2 class 2day
Haven’t gone in a while
Kinda sad they’re almost over
Miss u, Ec10
It was 90 degrees yesterday
Chicks are starting 2 sunbathe in the Yard
Gets me excited
Oops did I just say that?
The economy is shit, ya’ll
Hope u got ur summer jobs lined up
Hope ur traveling to some exotic land on Harvard’s tab
Hope u get 2 experience “immersion” in a “meaningful” culture
Hope ur not a senior this year
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“…but it does allow us to make this fancy sign to let ya’ll know.”
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Ahem. We now interrupt Reading Period with a special video interlude.
Thanks to our reader Leo, Veritoast has discovered this kinda famazing On Harvard Time interview with Harvard Admissions Dean William Fitzsimmons. Enjoy.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming of: OMFGIWANNAKILLMYSELFBECAUSEOFFINALS.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Instead of “studying,” why don’t you check out some of these events going on this week?
TUESDAY, JANUARY 6
AEPi’s Raise the Roof: A Charity Party Benefiting the Harvard Square Homeless Shelter
Get drunk for the homeless!
The Loft at Tommy Doyle’s (96 Winthrop Street in Harvard Square), 10pm.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=112193875182
The Epiphany Party, hosted by the Harvard Italian American Association
Food, espresso, hot chocolate, Italian culture.
Eliot House Memorial Room, 7-9:30pm.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=52951777052
Harvard VES Student Film Screenings
Carpenter Center, 7-10pm
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=42671253788
24 Hour Plays
24 hour…plays?
K-Space, Adams Basement, 7-11:00pm
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=47993301525
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7
Nine
A play about “a man, his imagination, and the women who so wickedly inhabit it.”
The New College Theater, 8pm
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=42225486197
THURSDAY, JANUARY 8
The Laramie Project
“A powerful docudrama.”
Agassiz Theater, 4:30pm.
http://www.harvardlaramieproject.com/
Slipping Away
“An evening of original theatre.”
Loeb Ex, 7:30pm
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=52360602880
SATURDAY, JANUARY 10
Lamont Turns Sixty! Get drunk for Lamont! Lamont Library, various locations of your choice, 9:30pm.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=47982076525
No Pants! 2009 Boston
The 2nd annual pantless riding of the T.
The T, 1-4pm.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=53848003176
Past event: Veritoast regrets that it is late to advertise this one, but the freshmen had a cray cray study break last night with President Drew Faust in Annenberg – complete with DJ, desserts, and dancing. Damn.
Have an event you want to advertise? Email veritoastnews@gmail.com.
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Read this hilarious Crimson article. In which Flores-McLeod (Hufflepuff) wins and Schwartz (Draco) drinks his sorrows away.
Finally, the end of UC election coverage. And all the children of Harvard rejoiced. Amen.
