VERITOAST

This is Part 2 of our Less Than Riveting UC-Hogwarts Series (LTRUCHS). See Part 1 here.

Let the sorting continue!

HUFFLEPUFF: Flores-McLeod

You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil

Hufflepuff is supposedly the “lamest House in all of Hogwarts” and is most often described as being “pussies,” “weaklings,” and “kinda rotund.” According to UrbanDictionary (the most reliable of sources for everything Harry Potter), “if you’re not brave, smart, or an asshole; you’re sorted into [Hufflepuff] by default.”  But, not gonna lie. I have always been a closet Hufflepuff fan. Because Hufflepuff has maintained a pretty miserable rep, it demands some sort of pity and lovability from even Mudbloods like ourselves. Hufflepuff remains the House that is most endearing and has some admirable qualities that are often overlooked, like: loyalty, patience, compassion, arduousness, and Cedric Diggory.

If Veritoast wasn’t such a sucker for Habsburg royalty, arable land, and the 30’s (newly added to the platform!) we would probably endorse Flores-McLeod instead of Waite-Petri.

The “nice” ticket. Also: fierce.

Flore-McLeod seems like the sensible ticket for everyone to vote for. Their bright smiles and shiny teeth and twinkling eyes and bouncy curls and general joviality all seem to say: “We will take care of you, the students. Like mothers.”  Also, their website is a thousand times more pleasant for the eyes than Schwartz-Biggers. Also note that Flores and McLeod may already have a notion of their Hufflepuff tendencies, as they chose the color yellow (Hufflepuff’s color) as their theme.

RAVENCLAW: Koenigs-Palmer

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind

This was a no brainer for the Veritoast Sorting Hat. With maverick charm and disarming wit, the brilliant Koenigs-Palmer ticket is in Ravenclaw. With the experience and seniority brought by Michael Koenigs ‘09 and the Alaskan charm brought by the fresh and clueless Aneliese Palmer ‘12, this ticket is playing the political game right.

Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.