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From everyone at Veritoast, have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. If you’re going back home for the break – have fun, relax, and try to enjoy the time you have with your family without going a bit insane. If you’re stuck on campus while everyone else has filed out – have fun too! Use this time to explore Boston (especially during Black Friday for some cheap holiday shopping), have dinner in the Square with other people who are staying, read a good book, catch up on sleep, watch a few vapid movies, and enjoy the peace and quiet.
Irreverent Harvard commentary will recommence December 1st.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: fascist movements, on harvard time, stupid smart people, the crimson, the game, uc election
HARVARD-YALE RECAP
- Friday: Yalies flooded the campus. Many unnecessary and belligerent exchanges were had between Yalies and Harvardians. They were all like, “You suck.” And we were all like, “You suck more.” Many parties were bumpin’, peeps were grindin’, drinks were flowin’, etc. etc.
- Saturday: Harvard 10 – Yale 0. We won The Game. People got drunk. Some people froze to death. Yale sux. Sux et veritas. Many parties were bumpin’, peeps were grindin’, drinks were flowin’, etc. etc.
MODEL STUDENTS
From this Crimson article.
“In many ways, the tailgate is a lot more important than the Game itself,” said Austin M. Litoff ’09.
… rly?
“I’m really disappointed that Harvard, as a University, tried to shut us down,” said Mather House resident Walter E. Howell ’09, who is also a Crimson sports editor. “But we are rising up. We’re going to get crunked!”
No comment.
UC ELECTION: DID YOU KNOW?
A suspicious Harvard media organization called “On Harvard Time” seems to dominate this year’s UC tickets. Charles James, Aneliese Palmer, Alexandra Petri, and Michael Koenigs are connected to the pseudo-news show in one way or another. What are they trying to do? Veritoast is watching. Stay tuned for some in-depth analysis on these candidates. Constant vigilance!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: epic fail, girl talk, lolwtfrusrs, pep rally, so not funny it's funny, the game
Veritoast is still recovering from the shockingly epic fail that was the Girl Talk pep rally that never was. Update later on what went wrong and who was responsible.
In the meantime though, Veritoast would like to offer its condolences to the CEB – it’s not the end of the world. Worse fails have happened. We think.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: beer, failure, fitzgeraldian, harvard-yale, moving pictures, the game, yale
The Game has been a tradition since 1875, when Harvard kicked Yale’s ass on their own turf at Hamilton Field in New Haven. Fast forward 133 years and The Game is still a really big deal, but perhaps for different reasons than a brilliant showmanship of college football.
“Forty years before they would issue Monopoly, Parker Brothers issued the ‘Yale-Harvard Game’ in 1894.”
One of these reasons is beer. The Game is undoubtedly an excuse for all students to get irresponsibly, frivolously, and marvelously drunk. This year, however, stricter rules will apply to all tailgating events. U-Haul trucks, kegs, and other devices that “promote the rapid consumption of alcohol” are all banned this year. And much to the dismay of many students, the tailgate must end at kickoff. This brings us to the horrific conclusion that we may actually have to watch The Game.
The Game is no bourgeois event. Even Gatsby and Daisy attend.
A second reason why The Game is a big deal is because it finally gives Harvard and Yale students a reason to emphasize the traditional rivalry which exists between the schools. Perhaps this is the one weekend in which such latent hatreds become increasingly salient. For example, now is the time when it is perfectly acceptable to traipse across campus declaring, “YALE SUCKS!!!!” without feeling incredibly awkward. However, if one attempts to do this in the middle of any month that is not November, it is likely that one would receive a few blank stares instead of an echoing, drunken chorus of similar remarks.
Harvard Hooligan h8s Yale, and is not afraid to show it.
One way in which the Harvard-Yale hatred surfaces is through the medium of Harvard-Yale t-shirts. Chances are, you have already been accosted by one of the yelling salesfolk promoting their own witty Harvard-Yale t-shirts outside the Science Center. There seems to be a decent collection this year. A recap of the available slogans seen so far:
- “Save the Planet – Recycle Yale” – This one promotes sustainability or something.
- “Yale Has Died of Dysentery” - This one induces nostalgia.
- “Game Over” (a Pac-Man pun?) – Same as above.
- “In My Country No One Has Even Heard of Yale” – From the Woodbridge Society.
and my personal favorite,
- “Read This Shirt If You Hate Yale” – From the lovely people of Satire V.
(Feel free to comment with any more witty shirts you have seen floating around.)
Harvard-Yale Shirts Through The Ages:
This guy would not be pleased with this year’s tailgating rules.
We endorse profanity, and smile about it too.
With that said, students should stock up on Harvard-Yale shirts, let the hatred and the beer flow freely, and have some fun this weekend at The Game.
Fight Fiercely, Harvard!
Fight, Fight, fight!
Demonstrate to them our skill.
Albeit they possess the might,
Nonetheless we have the will.
How we shall celebrate our victory:
We shall invite the whole team
Up for tea! How jolly!
Hurl that spheroid down the field
And Fight! Fight! Fight!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: failure, hipsters, pep rally, pleasure for the ears, the game, yale
Is Harvard ready for Girl Talk? The popular mashup musician is scheduled to perform at the Harvard-Yale (“The Game”) Pep Rally tomorrow night from 9-11PM in Harvard Yard, near the John Harvard Statue.
A lot of Harvard students may be wondering – who is this Girl Talk, and why everyone so excited? For those students wondering this, I suggest doing the following.
1) Take a a long, hard, good look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Why have I missed out on such a wonderful thing in life?”
2) After your thoroughly remorseful introspection is over, listen to a few of his tracks, which I have so kindly provided for you at the end of this post.
3) Mentally prepare yourself for a night of musical genius. Take a quiet stroll around Harvard Yard and take all this new information in slowly.
Repeat these steps if necessary, but if you follow my advice, you should be ready for this smashup mashup of a night. Cheers, Harvard!
“Get it right,” says Girl Talk.
SAMPLE TRACKS FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE AND EDUCATION OF GIRL TALK:
(From his new album, Feed The Animals)
Next up on Veritoast: Harvard-Yale shirts, Harvard-Yale in general, beer, the UC. (Fun fact: All of the aforementioned seem to be connected, but unintentionally.)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: failure, moving pictures, on harvard time, yale
Note: This is not a joke, but a tragedy of the utmost gravity. Do a good deed today and call the number now.
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There is evil afoot at Harvard.
“…assault and battery, annoying and accosting a person of the opposite sex, and breaking and entering in the nighttime….”
Mario Garcia, a senior at Harvard, was arrested in the wee hours of the morning on Friday, and all he got was a lousy problem set – that was later taken back by HUPD anyway. Alack. But to the readership: If you are not yet scared for your life, you should be, because there may be many more Mario Garcia’s out there than you think.
Problem sets at Harvard are serious business. On any given week night at Lamont Cafe, you will find clusters of freshmen hunched over these five-question, time-consuming problem sets. With so much time invested in these assignments, it would be horrific to have yours stolen – or to not have done yours yourself, which in this case, you would resort to such desperate and possibly inebriated attempts as Mario “Carlo” Garcia has.
“It is my sincere hope that the material taught in Ec 10 will provide a catalyst for discussion among students beyond the classroom. There are, however, better ways for that discussion to take place.” – Professor Gregory Mankiw
Only at Harvard would such an academic atrocity occur, and only at Harvard would a professor provide such a waggish response to the incident.
Gregory Mankiw at the Super Bowl
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Ahoy! Your life is now allowed to reconvene. Because Veritoast is back! Except this time we, like many people and pointless blogs in life, are not completely sure what the hell we are doing. But does it matter? Of course not! Now sit back, relax a little, and enjoy the Veritastic ride. (We do enjoy lame puns, among other things.)
Coming up: the UC election, almost crimes, and the Harvard-Yale game.
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Veritoast is experiencing a mid-life crisis. BRB.
